Aftermath of a Nightmare
by batbpassion
Summary: In 'Redemption', ep 14 of S2 of Beauty and the Beast, Catherine had a terrible nightmare where she accidentally killed Vincent. Her reaction to that nightmare inspired my story/poem. Disclaimer: Whilst I own the rights to my story, I do not own Beauty and the Beast, its characters or images. They belong to the CW Network. This is a work of fan-fiction only.


**Aftermath of a Nightmare**

_Part 1_

I wake screaming

And realize it was a nightmare.

I didn't kill him

Vincent is _not_ dead

It felt so vivid, so real.

The tear, the blood,

The lifeless eyes frozen,

Staring at me in pain, hurt, betrayal.

My heart hammers in terror…still

Where did it come from?

Why did my mind go there?

Was it the words of my damned father

or the ultimatum by Gabe…

Oh my God!

Gabe…

I turn and see him in this bed.

What have I done?

How did I get here?

Not with my Vincent but

with the very man who tried to kill him,

kill me…if not for Vincent.

How did I betray him this way?

Leave Vincent?

Walk away?

Choose Gabe over Vincent?

I can't…

I won't…

What have I done?

How did I get here?

Vincent and I were meant to be.

I told him that,

Hit him over the head with it.

Said countless times

I accepted who he was

But when he came back changed

Through no fault of his own:

Tortured,

Controlled by my monstrous father,

Memories erased,

I didn't hold true.

I pushed and pushed and pushed; used him, his beast…

What did JT say?

"It's hard to be Dr Jekyll when

everyone wants Mr Hyde…"

My Vincent who even through his beast has shown more…

humanity than all of us.

We all betrayed him.

Tried to mold him to what we wanted to see

And he has tried so hard for so long to feel worthy.

Fighting his beast.

Wanting to be a man and we wouldn't let him.

Pushed him to Tori, his beast taking over

Didn't see his pain, his struggle.

The emptiness he felt,

But seeking what little warmth he could find

With someone who understood him better than I did…

For a time.

And I should have

Understood!

I loved him more than life

But I shot him

Yes, I say to myself

I did it for him,

but in his state he could only see

The betrayal

The anguish.

That was real

I did that

I swore to protect him

I didn't keep my promise

I protected a monster instead...

Can I live…

A life without Vincent?

It's not possible

My heart wouldn't survive

Who am I?

What have I become?

How did I get here?

In this place with…Gabe?

No.

No longer.

I can't!

I won't

Do this anymore.

Vincent what have I done?

How do we return to each other?

JT said you were doing this for me.

Beast cold turkey he called it -

Desperate to be the man I fell in love with

And you are that man again.

I was blind, didn't see

When you went public

You wanted that with me once

Picket fences…

You saved me time and time again

Saved Tess

Saved JT

Even saved Gabe

For me.

Because, because…

You love me still, I know that now

If you can do this for me

I can do no less for you.

To be worthy of you

I start by making a choice.

I CHOOSE YOU VINCENT

###

_Part 2_

I stand outside the boathouse door

Fear trickles up and down my spine

I want to turn the handle

Go inside and never leave him again

I want so much to say I'm sorry

For doubting him, leaving him

I want to tell him

That I accept all of who he is

And mean it

To love him once more – without reservation

But…

Fear, guilt, rejection, loss; they assault me

Will he let me back in

After all that has happened?

That I know he feels he has done to me

That I in return have done to him

We let go of each other

Lost our way

Can we find that way back

To what we had?

Or is it too late?

He said he wants me back to JT but…

Now I've been with Gabe

The man who tried to kill him

Will he accept my aberration?

Or condemn me for it as I condemn myself…

I place my hand against the door

I breathe in and out

Steady myself

Whisper against the cool metal

"Vincent – I know you can hear me

Hear my heartbeat

Know my fear

Losing you - that's my nightmare

Living a life without you in it

It wouldn't be a life

I am so sorry

For everything that's been done to you

By Gabe, my father, me…

I can't change it even as I wish I could

Go back in time

Hold on tighter to your hand

Listen when you said Gabe wasn't to be trusted

Know better than to doubt your instincts

He may be good now but at what cost?

Us?"

I hear breathing on the other side of the door

He is there, listening, silent

Does he condemn me

or is he willing to give me, us, another chance?

"Vincent," I choke on his name

"I lost my way.

I didn't know what to do or how to do it

When we found you

Changed by my father

The horrors that must have been inflicted

I can't even imagine

and then…

when you open yourself to me again I pushed you away

Yet you tried again and again, fighting your beast

Taking solace in Tori but even then managing to fight her beastly pull, break free

And what do I do?

I choose… Gabe?"

I almost spit out his name

"That I could do that to you

is beyond even my comprehension and yet I did

Forgive me?"

"Catherine…" his voice caresses

from behind the door

"there's nothing to forgive.

I've done things, such terrible things…

to _you_.

I didn't mean to but I did.

I didn't remember you and then it came back in fragments

As if in a dream

Memories are there now but incomplete

I'm not the same man I was

I don't know how to do this

I want to but…

Because I love you so much

I want you to be happy

You deserve that more than anything.

If that happiness is elsewhere, even with Gabe…"

He truly loves me and I can only wonder at him.

Who else but Vincent would sacrifice his happiness for mine?

"Vincent, my happiness is with you

I said once that my normal was with you

I meant it then and even though we've been lost to each other I mean it now

I love you Vincent…"

The door opens and my happiness smiles at me

"I remember…and that I am so in love with you."

He takes me in his arms

Holds me like he will never let me go

I won't let him

He is mine as much as I am his

and as his beautiful mouth nears my lips

I smile tremulously at him

"Vincent, I choose you."

###

_Part 3_

Vincent draws me closer to him

As if to merge our bodies

While our lips seek to quench an unslakable thirst

It's been so long since I felt this hunger.

Thanksgiving at my father's a distant memory

that dims in comparison with the thunder in our bodies

We cling tightly to each other

I now know why it would never have worked

…with Gabe.

Alive, I've never felt this alive:

Loved, cherished, desired, craved

As Vincent makes me feel when he holds me,

Kisses me

Adores me

Nerve endings screaming

Our bodies begging for union

The growl that emanates from deep within him

Thrills me, excites me

Knowing he is more in control of his beast…

My fingers find his robe,

tearing at it, tossing it away

As he makes short work of my clothes…

Oh God!

His hands

Travel across my body

Seeking skin, caressing me into shaking oblivion.

As the moon illuminates us

we stand bare before each other.

Renewed

He steps back to drink me in

It's intoxicating

The smooth plains of his chest gleaming like a sculpture

My very own Adonis!

I giggle at the thought.

"What?" he smiles

"You're my very own Adonis…"

I answer as my hands touch the surface of his skin

"Then you're my very own Aphrodite.."

he growls once more as he sweeps me into arms that bind me to him

"Closer, I need you closer…" he breathes as his mouth crashes back towards mine

"Never letting you go again."

His kiss deepens.

He breathes life from my lips, as I breathe life from him

I sigh deeply

He's a part of me and always will be

How did I think I could be without him?

Live without him?

Love anybody but him?

I shudder at how close I came to losing him.

Vincent pauses

Glowing liquid amber eyes search mine

I trace where the scar once was

"I think I've been truly insane these last months.

I almost lost you forever." I whisper

"You will never lose me Catherine."

I tremble as he caresses my name with his honey voice

"We're together now. I am humbled that you chose me.

Love me, accept me, knowing what I still am…find me worthy…"

"Vincent, I lost my way, lost sight of us.

Never again.

I won't let it happen.

You're worthy.

It's I that needs to be worthy.

Of you."

Vincent shakes his head in disbelief.

"How did I ever find you?"

I laugh happily,

The first time in a long time

"What?" he questions

"You've said that before."

"Yes, I remember, back at the old warehouse."

I stare at him

"You remember?"

"Yes. That's not all I remember about the old warehouse…"

as his hands caress my body, achingly familiar.

"Is that so?" I gasp as his fingers find my wanting softness

"Yes but no more talk. It's time to make new memories…"

he vows as once again he finds my lips.

Lips that devour mine with savage intensity but also…reverence,

as if to atone, silently declare just how much I mean to him.

I hear his unspoken promise that we'll never be parted again

As his mouth, hands, arms, body, tangle with mine,

worshiping me with his very essence

I press against his glorious strength, his sizzling heat, his hammering heart

And I become needy, wantonly craving more of him

My body screaming for unity and the wholeness that only he can provide

Completion becomes my mantra

I moan as he lifts me high into his arms

I wrap myself around him, naked skin on skin

Kissing like we'll never stop.

I lace my fingers through his hair

As he walks unerringly towards the stairs

Ascends

Eyes closed while yet kissing me

As no 'normal' man can

Senses in tune with me, the space around us

Why did I ever doubt him?

How can I not love his beast too?

As the beast loves me

I feel it and him – seemingly one

At peace for perhaps the first time

For me

All for me

For love of me

It's at once glorious and terrifying.

To be loved so much

is a sacrament I now cherish beyond life

He is mine and I will never let him go again

As we tumble to his bed

I guide him into my center and at that joining

I almost cry with joy

Bliss so sublime

Overtakes me as we climb even higher

To that plain where only we exist

Eyes lock

Time stops

…and Love forgives

Two hearts beat as one

Ecstasy follows

And realization dawns

We're home

In each other

Vincent is my home

Not my family, nor friends, nor place of birth

Not my city nor my work

Not my monstrous father

Not Gabe

Only Vincent

He is my man _and_ my beast

He is also my heart

My love

My soul

"Vincent, I love you, now and always.

Don't ever let me go."

"Catherine.

I love you so very much.

You're my humanity.

My light and my life.

I'll never leave you."

Vows spoken.

Passion flares as we soar once more

While love is sealed forever.

Hearts and bodies irrevocably entwined

Vincent's and mine.

###

© Karin Witnish 2014


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